October 2021 • DALLAS MEDICAL JOURNAL 3
of having to constantly portray positivity.
For patients with metastatic cancer, hearing
“you’ll beat this” can be upsetting.
“We could all be hit by a bus tomorrow”
is especially insensitive. While that may
be true, you can be sure that metastatic
cancer patients feel the pressure of their
finite time every single day. What patients
truly need to hear is, “I see you hurting.
I’m sorry you are going through this. I am
here for you and will do everything I can to
help you through this process.”
Remember, too, it is not just the physical
symptoms of cancer treatment that are
difficult, but also the responses of others.
People shun you if you look like you have
cancer. When I was undergoing chemotherapy,
my husband and I went to buy
some new furniture. One day I wore my wig
and was approached quickly by a salesperson
offering to help. The next day, I wore a
scarf instead, and salespeople went out of
their way to avoid me. If you run into a cancer
patient in a hallway or on an elevator,
look them in the eye, smile, and say hello!
This helps us feel normal.
I chose to notify my patients of my cancer
journey to encourage them to get their
own cancer screening and to explain my
absence while out for surgery. I received a
tremendous amount of support, including
cards and personal notes, and was placed
on prayer lists across the country. I even
had some patients pray with me in the
office. I chose to wear my wig to the office
while I was receiving chemotherapy so that
my patients would be able to focus on their
own health concerns and not be distracted
by mine, and I was told more than once
that my hair had never looked better. I got
a chuckle from that!
Cancer patients undergoing treatment
think about their cancer most of every day,
and we welcome conversation that is not
cancer-related. Ask about the other things
going on in your patients’ lives. How are
their grandkids? Which college did their
son choose? How is the kitchen remodel
going? Even after completing treatment,
the risk of recurrence lingers in our brains.
Many patients have “scanxiety” regarding
their follow-up imaging and, if they
experience symptoms, such as back pain
or shoulder pain, it strikes fear in their
hearts. Acknowledge this with your patients
so they can express their concerns.
Several months after completing my
chemotherapy, I went to a mall department
store. It was the first time I went out in public
without covering my short, curly stubble.
It was so freeing to go bare! As my kids and
I walked through the door, a woman working
at the men’s cologne counter called out to
me, “I love your hair! It looks really great.” I
almost immediately started to cry and, once
I pulled myself together, went to thank her
and explain what her comments meant to
me. She said she had no idea that I hadn’t
just cut it really short on purpose. It wasn’t
about hair. It wasn’t about looking pretty or
even just looking healthy. It was about being
more than a cancer patient.
I hope by sharing my experience with
you, you can be a little better equipped
to give your patients the very best care
possible. I am very thankful for the excellent
care from my physicians, Dr. Michael
Grant, Dr. Paul Pin, Dr. John Pippen, and Dr.
Christopher Maisel. I hope I am helping my
patients through their journey as well as
these outstanding physicians have helped
me through mine. DMJ
“Our cancer patients
are scared. Scared of
dying, of surgery, of
chemotherapy. We are
afraid of being disabled
and being unable to care
for a husband, parents,
and children.”
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